Arrrgh! It's Morning Again!!! Pt.1

Lately, mornings have been a the worse part of my day, especially as I often struggle with insomnia.  Recently, I had such a bad morning, that I wrote this and shared it with a friend.

Feeling sorry for myself again this morning.  I feel tired and just want to go back to bed.  I feel touchy, and can't wait for the kids and hubby to get out of the house so I can have peace and quiet.

I am tired of having to get up every morning to make sure the kids are up and ready for school.  Tired of having to settle arguments or listen to the squabbles and fights between the two, and sick and tired of the silent treatment, when I've asked  a question.  The worse part is that they won't admit it's them. Ugh! It's just too early for this.  I want to go back to bed.

"She put Kleenex in my cereal bowl!" I hear a shout. "What should I do with it?" He asks.  This is a question I cannot deal with today.  "Figure it out." I say, as I close my eyes and shake my head. Then he comes back to explain again.  This time I tell him to "Go away!"  I now have a headache.  I think it's my blood pressure, but I just want to lay down.

I try to explain to my hubby that I have a headache and don't feel well.  "Have you taken something for it?" He says, in what I think is a demanding voice.   I get angry, and storm out of the room.  "Thanks for the empathy", I feel betrayed.  I show him empathy and concern on a daily basis, why can't he do the same thing for me.  All I want is for them to all leave the house, so I can the peace and quiet again.

I look for things I cannot find, he's shoved pills at me in the midst of it all, like it's gonna fix it. Fix me.  I don't want to be fixed,  I just want someone else to take over for a bit, to handle the craziness that seems to be my...wait it's only been an hour?  I want to back to bed and start all over again.  I cannot let this be my day.

It's only been an hour?"

Until tomorrow when it starts all over again.

Then I breathe. 

Have you ever had a morning like that?  Perhaps not quite like that but mornings when you just want to get back to bed and let someone else do the job.  We are not alone moms, and believe me, the Lord knows and understands.  He wants us to give us our day.  To stop and breathe, and enter into his presence even in the hustle and bustle of life.  Just breathe.

Father, thank you that all I have to do is breathe and as I do, I can call on your name and you are there.  Thank you, for my family and the challenges that come with each one.  Though at times I want to run and hide from the pressure, the tension and strife that seems to run through my life. I thank you, that you are enough for me.  Lord, you are welcome to come into each part of my day, even when I may not be acting Christlike, I know that you are doing a work in me, and you are faithful to complete it. I am also thankful that you "delight in weakness".  I pray for each mom that might be reading this, perhaps you have had a rough start to your day, give it to Jesus.  Call pn him, for he is your helper and remember that in your weakness he is strong.  In Jesus name. Amen

Philippians 1:6;  2 Corinthians 12:10; Hebrews 13:6


  Art work by K. Phillips

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